Loyd McIntosh

An Iowan, A Zebra, and A Parrot Walk In To A Bar …

After this news item broke yesterday about the arrest of  55-year-od Jarred Reiter for DUI outside a bar in Iowa and police discovering a zebra and a parrot in his pick up truck outside a bar called the Dog House Lounge, I’ve been obsessed with really bad walk into a bar jokes. I mean jokes so bad, so lame, that you can’t help but roll your eyes as you start laughing at them. The lamer the better.

Anyway, I got curious and did a little search on the web for some of the worst ‘walk into a bar’ jokes. Here are a few of my favorites. Enjoy!

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A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Get me a beer and a mop.”

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ” Why the long face?” (You can also substitute the horse for John Kerry, Ric Ocasekk, and Celine Dion).

A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”  The Screwdriver responds, “You have a drink named Murray?”

A woman and a duck walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Where’d you get the pig.”
The woman says, “That’s not a pig, that’s a duck.”
He says, “I was talking to the duck.”

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says “We don’t serve your kind here.” and the mushroom says - “Why not? I’m a fungi.”

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: “I’m lookin’ fer the man that shot my paw.”

A monk, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Hey! Is this some kind of joke?”

Two peanuts walked into a bar, and one was a-salted.

A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bar tender here?”

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A computer programmer walks into a bar and goes up to two girls. They completely ignore him.

A conservative, a moderate, and a liberal walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hi, Mitt!”

A giraffe walks into a bar and says, “High balls are on me!

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Finally, if you have a punch line you’d like to offer to complete the headline joke “An Iowan, a zebra, and a parrot walk into a bar,” send me a note and I’ll post some of the best ones at a later day.